Especially Thankful

Thankful. So thankful. For so many things. A great God, an amazing man who I call my husband, a beautiful little boy, parents who gave me a strong foundation and more love than I could have asked for, siblings who are among my closest friends, new friends and old friends, our health, jobs that provide for all we need and more, a warm house in the winter time...I could go on for many pages. So blessed and so grateful for so much. Life is not perfect and there are many things that are far from ideal (which I could also go on about, wink wink), but when I look around I have no choice but to choose gratitude!

Today we are especially thankful for a baby boy coming in April!!! We have been hoping and praying  that God would grow our family and are beyond ecstatic. We are so grateful for this gift of life, especially after losing one to miscarriage this past spring. We are more aware than ever that a new life is truly a miracle, one that only God can give, and his timing is perfect, even when it doesn't make sense. Bentley has literally been praying for two years for a little brother or sister. It's so special to experience this with him and see how he processes it all. This is "my baby" as he says, and he already has big plans for the many things he will do with his little brother. The comments he has made already during my pregnancy are just hilarious and I will have to do an entire post on those another time. He will be such a wonderful brother, teacher and friend. I keep reflecting on our journey with Bentley, from pregnancy to birth to now, and keep thinking, so giddy, "We get to do this all over again?!?" 

We had our ultrasound yesterday and so today we revealed the gender to our family that was with us (and by FaceTime for family that was not). One thing that struck me over the past 48 hours is how much LOVE is waiting for this little boy. We are now a family welcoming him, and when you add the extended family on both sides, and then friends....it starts to be overwhelming. 

Sweet boy, we cannot wait to meet you. There is SO MUCH LOVE waiting for you.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!

Our sweet baby boy. As soon as we got home Bentley was hanging the ultrasound pictures on our fridge. :)

We were blessed to have my brother Chris and sis-in-law Heather, and my sister Julie with us for Thanksgiving. They had to bite into their cake pop to find out boy or girl.

I made 3 batches of these little turkeys this week; a regular batch to wish teachers, colleagues, and people in town a happy thanksgiving, and a pink and blue batch for our Thanksgiving meal since I didn't know which we would need until Wednesday night.

It's a boy!

Tonight after all the fun: "Mom is Aunt JuJu a kid or a grown-up?" Surely a kid at heart. :)

He loves his aunts and uncles! Thankful to be living so close!

Effective and Productive in This Life

We are home with a sick boy this morning so I am thankful for NorthpointOnline.tv to catch Andy Stanley and have some quiet time to rest and reflect.

Making my life count, hearing "well done good and faithful servant" at the end of my life, living a life that is fruitful and makes the world a better place, that is obedient to God's calling and purpose for my life...this is where my heart is these days and where I am struggling to match my reality with what I know in my heart to be true. Many days I fall short of doing anything but living a comfortable, self-absorbed life. This is NOT my heart's desire. And so a few weeks ago in church when we studied this scripture in 2 Peter 1: 3-8 I was LIT UP inside, as if reading it for the first time.

3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Effective and productive in this life and in my knowledge of who God has called me to be, in light of what He has done for me...isn't it what we all want? To live lives that count for something, that have eternal value after we are gone from this earth, lives that leave a legacy and are not in vain? Right there it is. The secret to ensure our lives will count is to add to my faith:  goodness (doing what is right), knowledge (of God and our world by reading the Bible), self-control (being disciplined even with those things that are acceptable but not necessary or helpful), perseverance (pressing on when the day is long and I am tiring of giving my best to those around me), godliness (acting out the response to what would Jesus do), mutual affection (caring for those around me and putting others first, loving my neighbor as myself) and LOVE.

Now, this is easier said than done. I've had to re-read this passage everyday, a few times a day, over the past three weeks, just to remember what it is I am supposed to be focusing on. Oh boy, I have a long way to go, but REGARDLESS OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES I can work on this. No matter if I am at work or staying home, no matter if I am living in a big city or a small town, no matter if I come in contact with hundreds of people a day or just 1, no matter if I have a sphere of influence over lots or just a little, no matter if I am happy with my circumstances or frustrated...we have a playbook that can be applied all the time and ensure we are living lives that count. Faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, love. God help me as I try to implement these across all facets of my life.

Picking Back Up

I have many roles, as do all women. We are daughters, sisters, friends, wives, mothers, professionals, students, athletes, homemakers, business owners, to name a few. It depends on the day whether I feel I am drowning in them or thriving in them. Sometimes I just can't sort through all the "stuff" on my mind, my heart and my soul. Over this past year as I've pondered this, a small voice keeps telling me, "WRITE!" To get a handle on who I am and what God has given me to do in this world. To assist me in prioritizing those roles effectively. To share my struggles and encourage those who are struggling. To cheer on so many ordinary people, especially women, who are heroes day in and day out, taking care of their small corners of the world. To make sense of the injustice and suffering in this world and determine how God is asking me to do my part to address it. My need to write is mostly personal, but my reason for posting it here rather than keeping my thoughts to myself is that I believe we all share the same desires and struggles. We want our lives to matter and to count. We want to live life well, to its fullest. We want the same things for our marriages and our children. We want to thrive. If just one of you on a given day says, "Yes, I am with you," then it is worth exposing myself, the good, the bad, the ugly.

So, I am going to re-start this blog that began when our now 4-year old son Bentley was born and Michel and I were graduate students in business school together at UNC-Chapel Hill. Maybe I just want to write again to take me back to that season of life! Many good times and memories in Chapel Hill. Because my roles are so varied my blog topics will likely follow suit. I am a woman of faith, a striving yet failing Jesus-follower, I am a wife to Michel, a mom to Bentley, part of two amazing families in the Bartons and the Lusakuenos, a friend who is grateful to have amazing women in my life, an investment advisor for a multi-family office. And because we are a African-meets-American family, race issues (yes they still exist today in a very real way, Bentley is already learning this first hand), and those living in dire conditions in Africa and specifically in Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), are constantly on our hearts. Marriage, Parenting, Living out my Faith, Investing, International Issues, Social Justice, etc. are all fair game. That being said, by far one of the greatest privileges of my life is being a mom and walking through parenting alongside Michel, so you will see a lot of Bentley photos, parenting struggles, realizations, etc. because, well, this boy has my heart, and watching him on a daily basis has provided me with so many realizations about my heavenly father and His love and desires for me.

Whether it is 1 or 100 who read this, I hope you find real life and honest thoughts expressed here.