Picking Back Up

I have many roles, as do all women. We are daughters, sisters, friends, wives, mothers, professionals, students, athletes, homemakers, business owners, to name a few. It depends on the day whether I feel I am drowning in them or thriving in them. Sometimes I just can't sort through all the "stuff" on my mind, my heart and my soul. Over this past year as I've pondered this, a small voice keeps telling me, "WRITE!" To get a handle on who I am and what God has given me to do in this world. To assist me in prioritizing those roles effectively. To share my struggles and encourage those who are struggling. To cheer on so many ordinary people, especially women, who are heroes day in and day out, taking care of their small corners of the world. To make sense of the injustice and suffering in this world and determine how God is asking me to do my part to address it. My need to write is mostly personal, but my reason for posting it here rather than keeping my thoughts to myself is that I believe we all share the same desires and struggles. We want our lives to matter and to count. We want to live life well, to its fullest. We want the same things for our marriages and our children. We want to thrive. If just one of you on a given day says, "Yes, I am with you," then it is worth exposing myself, the good, the bad, the ugly.

So, I am going to re-start this blog that began when our now 4-year old son Bentley was born and Michel and I were graduate students in business school together at UNC-Chapel Hill. Maybe I just want to write again to take me back to that season of life! Many good times and memories in Chapel Hill. Because my roles are so varied my blog topics will likely follow suit. I am a woman of faith, a striving yet failing Jesus-follower, I am a wife to Michel, a mom to Bentley, part of two amazing families in the Bartons and the Lusakuenos, a friend who is grateful to have amazing women in my life, an investment advisor for a multi-family office. And because we are a African-meets-American family, race issues (yes they still exist today in a very real way, Bentley is already learning this first hand), and those living in dire conditions in Africa and specifically in Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), are constantly on our hearts. Marriage, Parenting, Living out my Faith, Investing, International Issues, Social Justice, etc. are all fair game. That being said, by far one of the greatest privileges of my life is being a mom and walking through parenting alongside Michel, so you will see a lot of Bentley photos, parenting struggles, realizations, etc. because, well, this boy has my heart, and watching him on a daily basis has provided me with so many realizations about my heavenly father and His love and desires for me.

Whether it is 1 or 100 who read this, I hope you find real life and honest thoughts expressed here.

4 Years Old!

It's hard to believe but my baby turned 4! We love him to pieces and are grateful to God for his life. Bentley is curious (CURIOUS, as in, asks over 100 questions a day, hands down), energetic, sensitive, strong-willed, loves EVERYTHING about life, confident, sweet, loves his mama but is starting to transition over to a daddy's boy (sniffle), strong willed, sometimes manipulative (working on this), and the opposite of shy. Here are some highlights from his 2-day birthday celebration. This boy appreciated and embraced it all, and it was so fun celebrating him! The best part? Over breakfast during Bentley's prayer he told God he wanted to live forever with him in heaven. I know, I know, he has only a basic understanding of who God is and what Jesus has done for him, but I trust God has began a work in Bentley's life and will be faithful to complete it. 

Current Breakfast Favorite = Cinnamon Toast. This is a win for everyone (so simple).

First time seeing a movie at the theatre...Planes in 3D!

Post-movie smiles, and sporting his new Golden State Warriors shirt from Grandma and Grandpa

Birthday party cupcakes (this boy knows how to focus when it comes to food)

Boys being boys, such fun friends.

And there goes the shirt. I figured he's the birthday boy, so whatever.

Failed attempt at an organized water balloon game (what was I thinking, these are 3-4 year olds)

And, this isn't working

Chaos is more fun anyway!

Weekend with Jenny, Ed and little Caden!

Michel was away the weekend before last so Bentley and I made a trip down the Jersey shore to visit one of my lifelong friends, Jenny, and her adorable family. They have a great house just minutes from the beach with an amazing park around the block. It is so special to share this next season of life with Jenny who I've known since 2nd grade!

The boys are 3.5 months apart and were so cute together. Thankfully Caden is a happy go lucky guy (seriously one of the happiest kids I've ever met!) even with all of the hair pulls and toys that Bentley stole from him! Bentley got a little excited with all of the new toys. :) But Caden was such a trooper. Jenny and Ed, you are doing an amazing job with that adorable guy!

Jenny took tons of pictures, so I am sending you to her blog for the pics from the weekend!

http://littlecadenslife.blogspot.com/2010/10/jess-and-bentley-come-to-visit.html

Life in New York - Part 1 continued

Pictures in the park (Madison Square Park). These are some of my favorites from our time here!

My parents came while Elisabeth was here and brought things for Bentley to help him survive his time in NY! Warm clothes and books - perfect for the NYC fall!

Christian (Michel's brohter) was also in New York for a few days while Elisabeth was here...it was a treat to have three of the Lusakueno siblings together!

Life in New York - Part 1

I've been waiting to post when I have time to do an update on our summer in Charlotte, post the pictures from our trip to Mauritius (back in June, ridiculous I know) and give a long update on life here in New York City (we are here for 10 weeks for training for my new job). Well, there isn't time for all of that now but I have a free evening so will post part 1 of our time in NY! All in all we are surviving and figuring out life as working parents. Michel has been able to work from his company's New York office and travels down south every couple weeks. So we have hardly been a part. Amazing! God is good. Bentley is going to an on-site day care that my job offers and it has been a huge blessing. The teachers there are fabulous and he has started coming home with artwork! Of course it is a HUGE adjustment leaving him each day. Bentley is not the only one shedding tears when I leave him. Usually by the end of the week I am borderline depressed because I just miss him so much. We cherish our time on the weekends and I actually look forward to my little human alarm clock going off at 6:30am on Saturdays and Sundays because I know we have the day together as a family!

Tata Babette (Aunt Elisabeth) was here for a month and watched Bentley for our first 3 weeks in New York. Talk about a blessing and lifesaver! She and Bentley obviously bonded and she was so great with him. It definitely made my transition back to work a little easier.

Bentley had his fair shair of shopping while Tata was here!

So the first few weeks he spent a lot of time at home with Tata in our 1-BR apartment. Clearly he found ways to entertain himself!

Ending here for now because Blogspot is not letting me upload more photos right now and if I don't post this it will not happen for another few weeks. :) More to come.

1 Year Old!?!

On August 7th I woke up remembering back to 1 year ago...the day we packed our bags and went to the hospital, thinking Bentley would be born! He would be born the same day as my parents' anniversary, so we thought. 45 hours later, on August 9th at 6:15 in the morning, he decided to make his long anticipated entrance in dramatic fashion! In some ways it feels soo long ago, and in other ways it seems like just yesterday. I can remember the moment he was born so clearly, and can still hear his cry and see Michel's face as he hugged me with pride and we looked at each other through tears, amazed by the miracle we were witnessing.


Wow, what a year it has been. We are still witnessing the miracle as we watch Bentley grow each day. I am writing this after a week at the beach in North Topsail, NC with my family. So I am already feeling a little emotional (or "homesick" as my sister and I say) missing my family, but also feeling so blessed for such a great week at the beach. So tears are now streaming down my face as they have many times this past week as I've paused to reflect on our little/big Bentley. One name, one word can draw so much emotion and love in my heart. He just is...Bentley! An amazing, fun-loving, sweet, fearless, big-hearted (and big) boy who loves people and loves to light up a room. He definitely takes after his daddy in all of these ways, and it's nothing short of amazing to get to be his mama!

Some of the things I love most about him right now at 1 year are:
- his dancing (he swings his arms out wide and puts them straight behind his back and runs in a circle...kind of hard to explain so I need to post a video of it!)
- his kisses and hugs, many times unsolicited which are my favorites
- how he "jumps" without getting his feet off the floor and almost falls over trying to squat low enough to give him enough momentum
- watching him read books by himself in his room, pointing at the pages like I do, and talking in his own language
- his love for all animals and his uniform "growl" no matter what kind
- pointing to his belly and lifting his shirt to pat it
- watching him splash himself in the face in the bath and the pool
- running into the ocean and purposely doing a faceplant in the water because he loves it so much
- praying and saying "Ahm" at the end for Amen
- playing hide-and-seek and him getting so excited to come into the room and "find" me
- holding up something to his mouth that I have told him "no" for and then shaking his head no and saying "nah, nah, nah" and putting it down


And one of my absolute most favorite things is watching him greet Michel at the end of the work day when he gets home. He gets soo excited and does his vibrating laugh so hard he can hardly breathe, says "da-da, da-da" and claps his hands together and then runs to him. It brings tears to my eyes everyday!


Bentley, we are blessed to call you our son and are so grateful to God for giving you to us. You have already taught us so much and are helping to refine us in order to become more of the parents and people that God created us to be. We are amazed that we have the privilege of sharing in your life as your parents!


Here are a few pictures from his birthday party at the beach. We did a safari/Madagascar 2 theme since he loves animals and it takes place in Africa. Thank you Grandma and Aunt Julie for picking out his party ware! There are more photos posted on Facebook.

Definitely devoured his first cupcake!

Tigger is his new buddy...he gives him hugs and kisses every time he wakes up!

LOVED his keys from Aunt Jackie

Aunt Julie and her boyfriend Geoff showing him how to get in his new pool toy


Ready for hoops in his new sneaks (Davidson colors!)

He would not put his new laptop from Grandma and Grandpa down! The songs on it are already stuck in my head.

Learning with Papa

Sporting his new shoes at dinner that night.

Rewind to...Belgium and France

The first stop on our two-part voyage overseas was in Brussels, Belgium with a weekend trip to the French countryside. Michel is the youngest of 8 (EIGHT, not a typo) children. For some of you this may explain his tendency to be the little brother and kid around. His fun-loving nature is one of the things I love best about him! We visited Michel's brother Christian and wife Khadia and their two boys Paul and Theo who live in Brussels, plus we got to see Khadia's parents, Mami and Papi Soumare. We loved seeing Michel's brother Eric in Brussels and Lille, and Tonton Guy-rene and his four beautiful daughters who live in Lille (France), and Tonton Alexis and his two awesome kids Nicolas and Olivia outside of Paris. It was my first time to Lille, where Michel spent his years from age 11-14. I am well aware of the fact that we came from different parts of the world and had such different childhoods, so I love visits with Michel's family when I get to learn more about his life back home and I can imagine him as a little boy.

I had no expectations of it being a relaxing trip, and wondered what we were thinking a few days before as we still had to pack up our apartment, move our stuff to Charlotte, and drive up to PA and then to NY to fly on our first of 4 long flights with a 9-month old! But Bentley did great and was able to sleep on most of them. Thankfully he didn't adjust to the time change in Europe so he went to bed at midnight and slept until 11am every day! I let myself sleep in with him which was amazing and exactly what we needed. For those who have youngsters who typically awake at the crack of dawn like Bentley does, go to a later time zone and enjoy late nights and late mornings!

Here are a few pictures from our trip. Unfortunately we lost our photos from the Europe part of our trip, but thankfully my brother-in-law Christian is a photographer extraordinaire so I got some from him!

All smiles on vacation!

My bro-in-law Eric, being patient with my bad French!

I had my first birthday overseas and the Lusakueno family went all out. A close family friend, Christopher, is a chef at a top restaurant in Brussels and so they had him come cook for us! This was my birthday dinner...nothing short of amazing.

Bentley clapping after we blew out my candles. The chocolate cake was delicious!

A nighttime stroll in Brussels. So fun to be able to stay out late with the little guy!

Christian and Khadia, Michel's big bro and sis-in-law...so cute!

Mami Soumare carrying Bentley African-style around the house. She was also giving him airplane rides on her legs...amazing!

Bentley loved Khadia and would choose to go to her over me! I love them laughing together!

Tonton Guy-rene's family in Lille...Bentley was in heaven with all of his girls. Can you tell which one married into the family??

Family outside of Paris...Tonton Alexis, Nicolas, Olivia and Christian with us.

Time to say goodbye :(...with Paul and Theo at the airport